


I'm Talking to You, Shortass!

by smoothmovebro



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, M/M, Pre-Squip, jake is the audiophile while michael is the jock, rich is the nobody while jeremy is the bully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 17:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12658239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoothmovebro/pseuds/smoothmovebro
Summary: This is Rich Goranski. He's just an average teenager trying to survive high school. And then, he gets a SQUIP. Or at least, the guy who torments him tells him about it.





	I'm Talking to You, Shortass!

**Author's Note:**

> written for nanowrimo 2017

Rich clings to the straps of his backpack as he walks down the hallway. He keeps his eyes downcast and his head lowered. Maybe if he bends his knees while he walks, he wouldn’t be noticed by-

“Watch where you're going, shortass!”

Rich looks up and finds the sneering face of Jeremy Heere, his tormentor since sophomore year. He gulps and his lisp becomes obvious in his reply. "Sorry, I was just trying to get to-"

"Okay, you know what!"

Jeremy walks behind Rich and grips his shoulder. "Don't move," he says. He bends down and writes something on Rich's backpack. He comes back up and faces Rich. He grips the shorter boy by the scruff of his shirt.

"You wash that off," Jeremy raises Rich to his tip toes, "you're dead." He shoves him away and his face brightens upon seeing someone.

"Mickey Mix!" Jeremy says, approaching Michael Mell. Michael is the school sweetheart, what with doing every extracurricular and being popular with everyone. Michael beams at Jeremy as the other boy grazes past Rich to get to him. Michael takes out an earbud so he could properly hear Jeremy

"So, what's the story with Madeline?" Jeremy says to Michael in a hushed voice. Rich could still hear them.

"Oh, man, I shouldn't say," Michael says with a laugh. He pitches his voice lower. "How 'bout I tell you in class?" He finishes the sentence with a wink and Jeremy's mouth widens into an O.

Jeremy brings Michael's head down so he could vigorously rub his knuckles on the other boy's scalp. The two laugh and prod at each other, joking about Michael's tryst with Madeline. They walk away towards their next class.

At lunch, Rich seats himself at the usual table where he and his best friend Jake sit at. He is preoccupied with analysing that one moment in Chemistry. He saw that Jeremy wrote 'boyf' on his backpack. He doesn't know what it means but he swore that he could feel everyone's eyes pierce into his soul, judging him for being such a dumbass and letting Jeremy write on his backpack like that-

The strums of a guitar bring him out of his reverie. "Jake!"

"Heya, Richie boy!" Jake greets while plucking out a cheery rhythm on his guitar. "Lunch is going swell today! I just learned a new tune. Check this out." He sits down beside Rich and continues to play the cheery tune. His left fingers fly and flex over the fretboard while his right hand plucks and curls over the strings, making a mellow and lighthearted atmosphere build in the bubble that is their table. Rich bops his head and sways to the rhythm, vaguely recognising the song. Jake finishes with a flourish of his wrist.

"That's all I got for now." Jake peers at Rich's gloomy expression. "You look like ass. What's wrong?"

Rich brings out his backpack to show Jake the 'boyf' written on it. He gestures at it with an incredulous brow raised. "Boyf? What does that even mean?"

Jake squints at the backpack. His eyes brighten up and he ruffles for his backpack. He brings it on the table and puts it beside Rich's. His backpack has 'riends' written across it, making their backpacks spell out 'boyfriends' when put beside each other.

Rich stares at the backpacks and blushes. He grabs his backpack and buries his face in it. "I hate this school."

Jake rolls his eyes and brings his backpack down to the floor. "It'll come off if we wash it hard enough."

Rich comes back up and peers at his bag. He investigates the ink Jeremy used and sniffs at it. Sharpie, as expected. He has just the solution for that.

"I'll see you after school," he says, leaving Jake. Jake nods and goes back to playing his guitar, humming a song as he strums.

Rich slinks out of the cafeteria and into the boys bathroom. He removes most of the contents in his bag and stows it under the sink. He lets the tap run and he cups a hand under the stream to bring it to his bag, letting the water soak the front. He pumps some soap into his hand and scrubs at the fabric.

The door slams open, revealing Jeremy. "I told you not to wash that off."

Rich drops his bag and crouches under the sink. "Where's my homework..." he mutters, pretending not to notice Jeremy.

The taller boy slams his hand on the edge of the sink. "I'm talking to you, shortass!"

Rich's head twitches at the insult. "Please stop calling me that." He grimaces to himself after hearing how obvious his lisp came out just then.

"Plith thap calling me that," Jeremy mimicks. "I'll stop until I can talk to you without having to bend my knees so much." He goes over to a urinal and unzips his pants.

Rich gathers his things in his arms and drags his wet bag along to the stall behind the urinal Jeremy is using. He grabs a toilet roll and starts wiping at the wet patch on his bag.

"Of course, the only thing more pathetic than being short is you sneaking off into a stall to get away from me." Jeremy pounds on the wall separating the urinal from the stall. "Stalls are for girls! Are you a girl, Richard?"

Rich sighs and gives up on trying to wash off the writing on his backpack. He dries off his bag and puts his things back. He emerges from the stall to find Jeremy making eye contact with him as he walks out. "Jesus Christ! Don't do that while you're-"

"While I'm what?"

Rich turns the other way. "I don't know how you can talk to people and..." he gestures at Jeremy.

"Confidence," Jeremy replies.

"You better watch the floor," Rich says. "You might-"

Jeremy gasps and brings a hand to his neck. His head twitches and he convulses for a few seconds. He exhales deeply and coughs, the convulsing gone. He stares at Rich.

"Right," Rich says. "I'll just go now-"

"N-n-n don't move!"

Rich stops in front of the door. Jeremy zips his pants and wipes his hands on his jeans. Rich cringes at the lack of hygiene.

"You don't remember me freshman year, do you?" Jeremy asks him. His shoulders are hunched and he's picking at the rolled hem of his T-shirt sleeves. He suddenly looks so vulnerable and scared.

Rich scoffs. "You didn't go here freshman year. What are you-"

"Aha! See! Yes I did!" He makes a weird gesture with his fingers at Rich, as if expressing his disdain at Rich's ignorance. "You just didn't notice. Nobody did..."

Jeremy slaps himself and now his posture returns to his usual confident stance. He tells his experience of freshman year to Rich. How no one notices him or takes him seriously. How someone would always trip him when he's walking down the hallway. How there would be many days where he contemplated transferring or not going to school at all.

"Then I got a squip," Jeremy says.

"You got what?"

"A squip," Jeremy says, popping the 'p'. "It's from Japan. It's a grey, oblong pill. Quantum nanotechnology CPU."

Rich gapes at the hand dance Jeremy is doing.

"The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do." He finishes the hand dance with a grin and waits for Rich's reaction.

Rich sputters. "That's not even possible-"

"Shut your cakehole, shortass!" Jeremy draws his shoulder back and forms a fist, threatening to punch Rich. Jeremy sees the frightened look in Rich's eyes and he brings his fist down.

"Sorry. Old habits. Look, I only did this because my squip said I had to!" Jeremy ruffles a hand through his hair. "But now he's saying you're not such a bad guy," he continues, fixing up his rolled sleeves. "That you might want a squip of your own?"

Jeremy crinkles his nose when he doesn't get a reaction from Rich. He starts to walk away. "Well, if you're not interested..."

Rich chases after Jeremy and tugs at the hem of his shirt to make him stop. "Wait! So it's like... drugs?"

Jeremy laughs. "Better than drugs," he assures. He gets behind Rich and places his arms on Rich's shoulders. He makes a rectangular shape with his hands.

"Picture this: nobody cares if you're late because even teachers think you're awesome. Weekends are a full-on slate of blowout benders. Teenaged rockstar type of shit." He gets in front of Rich and gestures at him. "All that drab fashion? Fixed! You'll go from sad to interesting to hip. Man, your life's gonna flip if you get one of these babies!"

"So like... how much is it?" Rich's curiosity piques the more that Jeremy is pitching this pill at him.

"Six hundred."

"You're shitting me!"

"My hookup is at the Payless shoe store in the Menlo Park Mall."

"Now you're just spouting words!"

"It's worth it, I promise! Bring the money in on Monday. You'll see." Jeremy starts to exit the bathroom.

Rich clears his throat. "Aren't you gonna wash your hands?"

Jeremy stops with one foot in the bathroom and the other out in the hallway. He peers at Rich, then at the urinal. He goes back into the bathroom, but only to flush.

"You'll definitely need a squip, man," he says as he exits the bathroom for real.

Later that afternoon, as Rich is helping Jake fiddle with his new guitar amp, Jake weighs in on what Jeremy said in the bathroom.

"That's a really unique way of scamming people," he says. He plugs in his electric guitar and winces when the amp makes a screeching feedback noise. He yanks the cable from his guitar and peers at the back of his amp.

"But can't I at least go there myself? So that I can make sure he's legit?"

Jake nods and Rich steps back. Jake turns a few more dials and plugs in his guitar again. He strums and the sound emerges loud and clear from the amp. Jake nods approvingly.

"Okay, so say I say yes and you take this pill. Say that Jeremy was telling the truth." He looks at his guitar and pouts. "Will you be too cool for m... jamming sessions?"

Rich sits beside Rich on his bed and brings an arm around his friend's shoulder. "You know I'll never leave you."

They look at each other and see the sincerity in their eyes. They feel a certain electricity course between them, and it’s not from the guitar amp in front of Jake’s bed.

A screeching sound of feedback wrenches the two away from each other. Jake gets off his bed and fiddles with his amp some more while Rich watches.

He doesn’t need a stupid pill when he’s already got the coolest guy in the world for a best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> i'd like to thank pom from the bmc discord server im in for prompting me to switch up my initial arrangement for the role reversal


End file.
